Missing You

SHE SAID:

Today I'm going to write about how much I miss Tony.

And this is funny for a couple of reasons. The first reason it's funny is because Tony gets on my nerves when he's home. And I mean this in the nicest way possible... really I do. Anyone that knows Tony knows how high strung he can be. He cannot sit still, he is always doing something, whether he's pacing through the house or he's mowing the yard or watering his plants... I mean there's something that always has to be done and he is right there, working on it.

I'm the exact opposite. I feel like I'm always on the move with the kids and school and everything that when I'm home I like to relax. I like to watch a movie or a TV show or I like to read a book.

It's funny when Tony's boys are over and the three of them are about to go somewhere or are planning something. I have one of the boys walking in circles and the other pacing behind Tony. I'm dead serious. This happens.

The other reason it's funny that I miss him, in a verbally ironic twist of fate sort of way, is because he has only been gone for a couple of hours, so my missing him is way premature. And it's going to last an eternity at this rate...

HE SAID:

Yes I find this kind of funny also. An hour into my trip I text her "miss me yet?" And her response was a definite "NO". Yet inside I think she was missing me. Actually I know she was.

Now, our trip up was quite uneventful (aside from the AC breaking). But the boys and I travel like we're hanging around the house. We drive with only one goal, to reach our destination. In fact, we only made 3 stops on the 700 mile trip. One because a station had gas 20 cents cheaper than anywhere else. Once at a rest stop and once for a gas fill up.

I apologize to anyone who has to put up with me around home. I really don't like to sit still, unless it's the end of the day and I'm ready to fall out. Plus there always seems to be so many things that need to be done. Just ask Maria!

Finally, it's a good thing I have free cell to cell calls. Otherwise all these calls from Maria would cost me a fortune. And Maria, could you please water my plants? The four hanging baskets dry out quick in this heat, and don't forget the ones on my planting bench. Thank you and I love you and I'll see you soon.

The Fourth

SHE SAID:

The 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays of the year. I love the fireworks.. well, I love watching fireworks, I do not like shooting off anything other than fountains and snaps. I blame that on my 2 older brothers and their bottle rocket fights growing up. But, nonetheless, the 4th is a great holiday.

Since I'm going to be a nurse (as soon as I pass boards) I really should get used to the idea of not having any holidays off at least for the next couple of years. I'm going to be the newbie and therefore have to work holidays until they hire a few newbies under me. I'm totally ok with it, I mean, everyone has to pay their dues... but knowing this fact, I wanted to enjoy this "last" 4th with the family and soak it all in as much as possible.

We went downtown and watched the fireworks at the pier. The fireworks were nice, Nic really loved them. For about 3 minutes and 35 seconds. And then for some reason he lost interest.... so needless to say, it was a job watching fireworks this year.

Ah, life with a 2 year old....

He Said:

Yes the 4th of July is great, isn't it? We celebrate our independence by blowing things up.

That was until this year. With three wild fires covering well over 1,000 acres right around town the week before the 4th you can understand the burn ban. Nevertheless it was somewhat depressing how quiet it was. I believe I only heard fireworks go off twice the entire weekend. And after one of those the police flew by the house looking for it.

And of course there's Nick. He loved seeing the fireworks downtown, eating pizza and hanging out. But there was so many people he had to check things out. And hey, who wants to just sit around for more than a few minutes when there's all this excitement surrounding you?

I understand that Maria will miss a few holidays coming up soon. And since we didn't get to do fireworks this year, we'll make up for it next year.
Plus, if she's working...

Father's Day Tribute

SHE SAID:

Father's Day means something different to everyone. Today is my father's first Father's Day without his father. Grandpa is very much missed. I wish I could be there to spend today with my dad. Also, 8 years ago today Tony's father lost his father. To all of the Father's out there, I wish you a Happy Father's Day. Tell your father what he means to you not just today but often. For we never know.

For Nic, every day is Father's Day. He is lucky to have a great dad. Here are just a few times I was able to whip out my phone and capture my little Daddy's boy and his hero in action.

Elation

SHE SAID:

Elation might be able to describe this incredible feeling I have right now.

I have finished nursing school! I just took and passed my last test! Well, almost my last test -- I can't forget about state boards.

To Tony: Thank you for putting up with me while I was in school. I know it's not been easy. I love you dearly and I'm totally looking forward to our next adventure. Maybe it will involve Las Vegas and an Elvis impersonator?

HE SAID:

Congratulations!
You have every right to feel elation.

In retrospect, you can be quite the handful when you get stressed about school. But we won't go there now will we.

Anyhow, just got a phone call from Elvis. He said he is retiring, but John Wayne is available in a small Nevada mining town...

Cheers.

Ladies: Must you change your Man?

HE SAID:

Before I delve into this subject I have to make two statements:
1) This post in no way pertains to those of you that "size" a man up for his "potential" within the first couple of weeks. You know, what you can make of him. Frankly your problems run much deeper and it's a subject I may or may not get into at a later date.
2) Disclaimer: I in no way shape or form consulted with or discussed with Maria the contents of this post before publishing it. She may or may not chose to reply.

This is an age-old question us men ask, "Why do you want to change us?"
I've always maintained that People don't change. It's true for a man or a woman, it's encoded in our DNA. The facts are, if your a jackass, you were born that way. The degree of jackassery can change from one year to the next, but it'll always be there. That being said let me clarify a little further. You can change learned behaviors, such as organizational skills and time management. Granted, behaviors such as these can have a drastic changes in ones life and relationship.
Let's take a simple example: When you met your man he liked to drink beer with his buddies. Three years later he still does this a couple of times a week, and usually at home. But now this upsets you. Why? Didn't it bother you in the first few months? Or did you think he'd outgrow it.

Just because we're men doesn't mean we're stupid. Here's an example from my life. I smoke cigarettes. I know they are bad for me and I fully intend to quit again one day very soon. Now, I am very, very proud of Maria for having quit. And although I'm trying now, until I give it everything I know I won't fully quit. So I don't really need to be reminded how bad it is every day. Hell, it's on the radio, tv and every 4th billboard on highway 98.

Let's put a little different perspective on this. The relationship side of things.
We are MEN. Hunters, stalkers of prey, problem solvers, solution for everything, beat our chests full of pride stubborn asses... Get the point?

When you make an attempt to change us in any way, you are inadvertently attacking our pride. The natural instinct for self-preservation is to become stubborn. Now, once the stubborn button has been pushed the entire chemistry of our being changes. We become protector. We shut down. Sometimes even withdrawing. And what did we accomplish? Nothing.

So what's the answer? As far as I can see it the best possible solution is to work on the learned behaviors, including communication. Now don't take this the wrong way, you can't just walk up to your man and say "we need to work on communication". It's never going to work. It's really no different than telling him "you suck at communicating, you need to practice". No, it must be a stealth approach. Understanding can be the key to everything.

Really ladies, do we tell you which way to curl your hair in the morning?

And that's our lesson for week one.

SHE SAID:

Oh, you bet your ass she chose to respond!

I would just like to say that, for the record, or the schmecord, or whatever that wanting you to quit smoking is really not trying to change someone. Tony, I am not trying to change you.

What men fail to understand is a woman's inside desire to take care of everyone. Who does a child naturally want when they are sick? Who typically runs the household and takes care of everyone in it? Who typically takes the kids to doctor and dentist appointments and makes sure everyone eats? The women do. Nothing at all against men, because just the other day the daycare called saying that Nick was sick and had to be picked up and I was taking a test that morning and Tony was right there, picking him up. And I can also say that Tony steps up and will help out washing and drying clothes (FOLDING is too hard to do, so that does not get done. They just get thrown on the couch, but that is another blog entirely.) But on the whole, in the big picture, women do the "taking care" of the family.

That's my first point.

My second point is that I am in nursing school. I am seeing and taking care of patients with COPD who insist on lugging their oxygen out to the smoking garden outside so they can "enjoy" their cigarette. I see emphysemia patients that can get the air in.. but can't get the air out of their lungs. I have to suction brown goop out of patients lungs'. Lung cancer. Heart disease. If someone is a "do not resusitate" patient, it means that when they can't get anymore breaths in and out, it's over for them. Can you imagine dying from not being able to breathe air? It is beat into my head every single chapter that smoking is a risk factor for just about every disease known to man. And yes, everyone knows someone who smoked since they were 5 and didn't die from lung cancer. Maybe you will be lucky, maybe not, but is your life and your quality of life worth the risk?

Ok, stepping down off my soap box now.