Memory Lapse

He Said:

In our day to day struggles to survive, if we are paying attention, we learn simple, easier ways to get along. As we all know there are very important things about men that women don't understand. And vice versa. Now, from my standpoint I don't think a woman should try to understand, just know these things exist.

Take for instance the fact that men can, at times have one track minds. This doesn't mean that we can only think of one item at a time. It's that one thing takes front stage, whether it's the right thing or not. For example, it's your birthday, anniversary, the day the world stood still for you, and your man forgets. Throw him under the bus and hope it backs up and gets him a second time. Right? Sure the first thoughts you have are it's unforgivable, and he just doesn't really love you. Hell a friend would remember and your man couldn't.

At this point I could write several hundred excuses on why he would forget. Most likely when he went to bed the night before there was something pressing on his mind, and it was the only thing when he woke up. Now, that may be just an excuse, but the fact remains that it happened, and will happen at times in the future. So now what? Sure he could be traded in for a new model, but if you think the new one won't forget at times, think again.

Now ladies, I know we tend to ask a lot of patience from you on many aspects of your life. This is just one of them. Take this blog for instance. Has anyone noticed how each entry starts with She Said:? It's not because I can't write my own, it's because I get "busy" with 10 other things. And Maria very quietly will start several ideas and mention them to me. She has been known to mention it to me three or four days in a row. I can only imagine how this frustrates her. And then there are times that I'll do better.

Now I'd like to end this long winded excursion with a note for the men. One of the oldest sayings I can remember is "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

Think about it...

SHE SAID:

A Woman's Job Titles: Cook, Housekeeper, Accountant, Taxi Driver, Laundry Machine Operator, Referee, Dog Groomer, Babysitter, Dishwasher, Appointment Scheduler, Manicurist, Barber/Beautician, Teacher, Doctor/Nurse, Homework Tutor, and Psychologist

A Man's Job Titles: Landscaper, Trash Mogul, Security, and Lord of the TV Remote


The note for the men at the end of Tony's should have been: "KEEP NOTES".

Yes, keep notes. Buy a little 75 cent pocket notebook and a pack of bic pens and keep notes.

That's all I have to say about that.

I could go on and on and point out how women are not allowed to forget things, so why should we have to cut men slack for it? Women are expected to do the majority of things around the house (see above for reference). What do men do? (Again, see above for reference).

I'm not saying that women don't have patience. Most of the time, reminding Tony is just part of life. And even when he forgets things that I have reminded him about several times and then will have the nerve to say, "Why didn't you tell/remind me?", I still love him. I do.

Just with a clenched jaw and squinted eyes.

Keeping Secrets

SHE SAID:

Okay, I think we've found a woman's weakness. (Finally, sheesh)

So a woman has a harder time keeping a secret... well, secret. I place the blame squarely where it belongs: On men. Yes, you just read that right. I blame men! If men were better communicators, women wouldn't have to talk so much. It's like we have to do the talking for ourselves, our kids, and for our man. And sometimes that talking can lead to spilling things that wouldn't normally be spilled.... like secrets.

And for the men out there that think it's possible for a woman to keep a secret -- you are wrong. She has told at minimum two other people. Most likely the people that she told the secret to don't count because it was "out of necessity" or it's because it was her brother or sister or best friend... and we don't keep secrets from them. That's what separates the best friend from other friends and acquaintances -- secrets. Friends don't know your secrets, best friends do.

So the next time you have a secret, you better keep it ... well, secret!

He Said:

A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men.
Excited to prove to his wife that he had been right all along when he accused her of talking too much, he showed her the study results. It read "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000".
The wife thought for a while, then finally she said to her husband "It's because we have to repeat everything we say."
The husband said "What?"

So how does this all apply to secrets? Let's look at the numbers in the joke. I did some research and couldn't come up with any factual evidence for the 15,000 and 30,000. But I did find some research where men and women wore recorders for two days and the words were counted. Yes, women talk more than men. In that research men averaged just under 6,000 words per day where women were around 9,000. When you have that many words to use how can you keep anything a secret.

I tried to say 9,000 words one day. I ended up losing my voice for two days. It seems men are allotted a certain amount, then we are shut down for repairs.

But how can you put the blame on men? We aren't "bad" communicators, we just aren't programmed to talk as much as women. And frankly we really aren't dying to hear your secrets.

You know the old adage, "Some things are better left unsaid."? It's good advice. That's why we call them secrets.

In closing, all my research led me to develop this philosophy: When you are speaking to someone and about to divulge a secret, it can only mean that you have run out of things to talk about that day, but still have plenty of words to go to reach your allotment.

Webster defines reinvention like this:

Main Entry: re·in·vent

Pronunciation: \ˌrē-ən-ˈvent\

Function: transitive verb

Date: 1686

1 : to make as if for the first time something already invented the wheel>
2 : to remake or redo completely
3 : to bring into use again

— re·in·ven·tion \-ˈven(t)-shən\ noun

She Said:

This is our household's "word of the year" for 2009. Like many other families, we were faced with a tough year financially this year. After giving birth in May, it was quite the challenge to find work. In our area of approximately 300,000 people, over 23,000 people are unemployed. Fortunately for us, we survived this year, and we are certainly looking forward to a new year with new hope.

And a little reinvention.

After studying algebra and science for 6 days straight, I took the Nursing Entrance Exam, and 2 other required tests, and PASSED!! I am a candidate for the Practical Nursing program at PJC. I am most excited. They fill the classes on a "first completed, first seated" basis, and I am crossing my fingers and toes that I was able to get everything in on time and can start class in June. My ultimate goal is to become a RN. I am going to take classes this spring to fill the pre-req's for that program so that I can start as soon as I finish the practical nursing.

Funny how things can change in the course of a year. One year ago, I was not thinking of going into nursing. Six months of looking for work and being frustrated is guiding me down this path.

He Said:

I couldn't have picked a better word for the year. I am extremely proud of Maria for passing her exams. Frankly they were difficult, very difficult.

And yes, our finances this year were a roller coaster ride worthy of 6 flags. I fought with my own work in that at the beginning of 2009 I had more than I could handle and considered hiring more help. Then as the economy faded, so did the work.

On the upside we were blessed with a healthy baby boy, and we saw the photography business slowly pick up some steam. But on the note of reinvention, I am once again getting my CDL license. I dropped it many years ago because I didn't drive truck any longer, and now have to take the driving portion of the test again to get the license back. I am doing it to supplement our income and help a friend in need of a driver.

I really had never planned on driving again. But if I had any advice for someone looking for work I would have to say be as diverse as you possibly can.