AC Break

SHE SAID:

OK, folks. We live in Florida. It's May. It's hot outside. Can we please turn the air conditioner on already?

I don't mean to use the pregnancy card here. Well, yes, I do. I'm pregnant and entitled to it. When you are pregnant it is a scientific fact that your body is a few 1o to 15 degrees warmer than the normal person. And, being in the last few days of my pregnancy, I'm hot.

Tony insists that our thermostat is off by 8 degrees. He says that we have to set it to 80 degrees in the summertime if we want the temperature to reach 72. I've tried calling b.s. on him, but I don't have any evidence, and he'll tell me something like he just changed it or something. So, I'm still working on that one. I'll eventually catch him with that one and get him to confess. Muah ha ha ha. During the day, I do keep the lights off and the door closed and the shades drawn because it does get very sunny here (I know, surprise, surprise, right?) and it can get pretty hot in the house. Then, the boys get home and the door can't stay closed and you got 4 of 'em in and out of the house for whatever reason and it's hard to keep it cool in here. Throw in Mr. Doesn't-Ever-Want-To-Use-Electricity and I just can't win this one.

HE SAID:

No I do not insist that the thermostat is off by 8 degrees, it's a scientific fact. Just get your own thermometer and see for yourself. Of course I could do the noble thing and buy a new thermostat, then install it, and then prove that now we have the proper temperature. But that is just too damn easy. Now we are on a matter of principal. She should trust and believe me. Right? Seriously folks, what is going to happen here in the future if she can't trust me with the thermostat? Next thing you know she'll be accusing me of eating her ice cream or something.

But of course I have another idea that seems to work pretty well. Leave the house and use someone else's air conditioning. Why not? If they are going to run it you might as well enjoy it. Think about it. Wouldn't it be appropriate to go grocery shopping during the hottest part of the day? Or go get a smoothie at Starbucks. Right there I burned at least 3 hours counting driving time (more if you go across town) and not one lick of air conditioning was used in the house.

And if you think it's hot now... Wait until August... How'd that go? Muah ha ha...