Hello?

SHE SAID:
Cooking dinner the other night got me thinking about crazy things... like answering the phone.

Tony can answer the phone and I can tell just who it is by his "hello". When it's his mom, it's kind of a singing hello. His "o" sound goes up and then drops back down. Like "hell-OO-oooo", the second set of "oooo" coming down a notch. When it's his brother or his dad, or any male calling, for that matter, it's more of a deep-voiced, (although still very pleasant) more of a manly-man sounding "hello", with the emphasis on the first syllable, and he does not carry out the "o" sound like with his mom and sister. That one sounds more like, "HEH-low". When his daughter calls, it's always a "hell-OOh" followed by a "what's up?"

I say "kudos" to Tony for even picking up the phone. I don't like to do that most of the time. I don't do messages or voicemail. I see when it says "missed call" and I will get back with people that way. When I was working, it seemed I spent half my day checking messages and getting back to people I had left messages with who would call me back when I was trying to call someone else back that called.. thus resulting in a little game I like to call "phone tag". Confusing, I know. Imagine how I felt living that conundrum. Tony gets so aggravated with me for not checking messages and not answering the phone. He doesn't understand that I kinda have to be in the mood to answer the phone. Most of the time, I don't have the TIME at the moment. I have more excuses if you really want to hear them.

Did I ever tell you about the time that I was cooking dinner and the phone rang and at precisely that moment, aliens came down and sucked me up into their spaceship? .... true story.

HE SAID:

That Maria was thinking about this while cooking my dinner should be alarming enough, but that she has listened to me answer the phone close enough to not only decipher the phonetics, but do a full tonal analysis of my hello's is a serious fright. I really didn't believe the alien story until just a moment ago.

But seriously, can you remember back when we didn't have caller ID? Back then you couldn't get in the right frame of mind according to who was calling. You just had to answer, and either put on a fake nicety, or let it all hang out. Of course you could let the answering machine get it. But then again, we can go back to a time before the answering machine. Back then they either called back or they didn't. That was serious call screening.

Well let's just have some fun and see how many can remember the last time they didn't have a cordless phone. Yeah, remember when you were tied to a wall with a wire? I hated talking on the phone when I was a kid. I am a pacer. I have to walk around when I have a phone conversation. I'm sure my parents had to buy new cords a few times.

Then of course there was the first "cell phone" I ever saw. It had a rotory and black handset inside a briefcase. I think it actually worked in about 10 places in the country.

Wait until Maria finds out I set up her voicemail. She's gonna love me for that!!!

Name, ASAP!

SHE SAID:


OK, we've had the dog for 2 months now. She is a female jack russell terrier and cute as pie. She's a very sweet puppy. I actually found her on Craigslist. The people couldn't give her the attention she needed and so now we have a doggie. The boys are all smitten with her. Tony is total mush around her. And I do have to admit that she is kinda cute when she curls up right next to you and puts her head in your lap and falls asleep.


So, the problem? She has no name. Her original name was Roxy. That's what they named her as a puppy. The lady that we got her from said that they got her from an elderly man that treated her badly and when they got her, they didn't like the name Roxy and they changed her name to Poppet. Pronounced POP-IT. Well, she is not a Roxy, she is not a Poppet. And out of 4 boys, Tony, and I, we now have a nameless doggie. None of us can come up with a name that everyone can agree on, that fits her. I've suggested Foxy Cleopatra, because her ears stick up and her eyes have patches on them and it kinda reminds me of a fox. I've suggested Molly, Dolly, and Sassy. I've heard the boys suggest Fruit Loop, Baby, and Girl. Nothing so far.


She is real smart, loves fruit loops and long walks on the beach...


and really needs a name.

Craigslist Junkie

SHE SAID:

Whoever this "Craig" is has amazing ideas. Free online classifieds?! It's almost too good to be true. I am smitten.

It must be the single mother inside of me, but I am a great bargain shopper. Well, let me clarify this. I don't really care for shopping. Something about taking 2 boys shopping with you does something to your inner shopper and it really turns you off of it after a couple of times. (Great rehab for those compulsive shoppers -- take my boys with you once or twice and you won't want to ever go back!) Add pregnancy and swollen hands and feet at the moment and I really don't care for shopping right now. But, there are things we need in our household, and shopping is the only way to get them. And nothing excites me more than finding a great deal. Except being able to find this great deal online first, and then going directly to pick it up. It's the best thing since sliced bread!

Did you know that I found the baby's crib and changing table (matching set) for $100? I mean, WOW, right? I found the wood high chair that I wanted for next to nothing, got a glider and ottoman for a steal. Heck, I'm even finding my friends things on Craigslist. I'm like the Craigslist dealer out on the street.. "what do you need? you need a swing? you need a bouncer seat? I got you covered.." yes, it is that bad.

What is worse is hiding my addiction from Tony. He comes into the room, sees me on my laptop and I click over to my other open tab I keep just for that purpose. So, this morning, I'm sitting at home, nobody here, and I get on Craigslist just to see what's new on there... and I find some baby boy clothes. I reallllllly want these clothes. They are in good condition, they are name brand, and they are a steal! Except the baby has more clothes than he can wear right now, and he's not even born yet. So, I'm sitting here, going through everything in my head, thinking that I could return all of the baby's new clothes I bought him, buy this lot of clothes off of Craigslist and come out ahead... then I see Tony's face pop up in my head, shaking his head back and forth at me.... and I realize that some things are better left as fantasies.

HE SAID:

There was a time when classifieds contained the essentials. You know, rummage sales, cars, job listings, and of course farm animals. Now if you wanted "companionship" you read the personals.

So let's look at Craig's list. Mix all of these things together and let MOTHERS control it. Do you see where I'm going with this. That's right, Craig let his mother take control of his idea.

Now don't get me wrong. I have no problem with finding a great deal. And I use the internet all the time to check prices before I commit to a purchase. But seriously folks, we have so many infant clothes right now I could probably clothe the entire maternity ward at our largest hospital for the next month!

So at what point does a great deal cost you more than retail? When it becomes a Craigs list obsession...

Moping

SHE SAID:

We are counting the days until the newest member of the family joins us! I had an ultrasound the other day at my doctor's office so they could check the size of the baby and make sure everything looks good. I am not sure if my doctor does this as part of regular routine, or if he did this time because my last one was a gigantor baby .. (9lbs) Whatever the case, we got to see the baby I have affectionately nicknamed "Junior". At first she had the machine turned towards her and only her and Tony could see the screen. Me watching his face watching the ultrasound did something to me. While it could very well be the hormones turning me into a big pile of mush right now, it was a very soft, sweet moment. Men don't often show their emotions or like to talk about them, even, so to actually witness it was kinda cool.

Kids can break your heart from day negative 9 months it seems. They don't mean to.. it's just part of it. The hardest part for me is when my boys go to visit their dad in Missouri. The trip is about 9 hours and all I can think about when they are gone is the fastest route and mode of transportation to reach them if they need me. Every Thanksgiving, every Christmas, Spring Break, half of summer vacation they spend with their dad. Tony and I were completely alone last Christmas. We were lamenting on the irony of the situation to each other. We found it strange to have a house slap full of people on every other day of the year ... And I don't think you ever get used to it. I think you learn to live with it.

And when I am moping around the house, looking lost, it's kind of nice to look up and have someone there holding up 2 bowls of ice cream asking, "which one do you want" ...

This weekend is Tony's turn to mope around the house, missing his boys. My turn to serve up the ice cream. Which flavor sounds good to you, Dear?


HE SAID:

You can make fun of me all you want. But let me tell you how it is.

Every weekend, and much of the week my boys are around. I've coached their baseball for years and this spring I'm coaching Denver's soccer team. So here I have a weekend with no work plans, and my ex decides to take them on vacation. I should be rejoicing at the idea. Right?

Funny how all of a sudden you don't mind your tools being left out in the yard, or all your nails and screws being used to build a fort out of your good lumber, or fingers being stuck in the jello. Yeah. All weekend all I could do was think about all the things we could be doing, while I cleaned up the yard and mowed the grass.

But of course I do feel bad for the two boys that were here in the house this weekend, and Maria. I am sure I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around. But my boys will be back soon and we should be back to normal.

Mint chocolate chip will do just fine.

Boys VS. Girls

SHE SAID:

I think everyone should feel sorry for me. I am stuck in a house with 4 boys, Tony, and about to give birth to a 5th boy. Four times the belching and passing gas and pee on the back of the toilet... Four times saying "we do not pass gas at the dinner table" (through their giggling and laughter, by the way) or "say excuse me when you belch" (even though they sound like a trucker).

What happened to me having a little girl? What happened to my little girl that would think that bugs were icky and would go shopping with me and dresses and pretty little sandals and pigtails? I guess someone just figured that I was better suited raising boys instead of girls. Tony has a daughter that is going to be 18 this summer. I came into the picture when she was 16, so she was already so far past the cutesie stage it wasn't funny. She had lapped that one. And, while she is a great great girl, I never once got to buy her a cute little dress and patent leather mary janes.

Ah, well, I digress. The point is moot, right? At least I know that I am still the Queen Bee in my house.. because my boys tell me I am. They are very protective of Mama and I like it that way. I could always look at it like this, too: if I did have a girl at this point, she would probably be worse than the boys anyway. She would be catching frogs and bugs and would be climbing trees and getting dirty. Just like having another boy.. only this one would have hormones once puberty hits.

So next time I look over and see a little girl digging in her nose, I'll hug my boys tight. And be thankful.

HE SAID:

Well now. How do I take this? I'm not sure whether or not I was just insulted as a member of the male species. Maybe what we have here is distortion of stereotypes.

Here's an example: Let's say we have a 10 year-old boy and a 30 year-old man out at a local bistro. And you come across them while they are belching and farting and laughing about it. What happens? Maybe (if you are of the female persuasion) you are disgusted, but you soon forget about them.

Now example 2: We'll use the same ages, but we have a 10 year-old girl and a 30 year-old woman at the same bistro. And they are belching and farting and laughing hysterically. Now what? Well again (female persuasion) you are definitely disgusted, and everyone you know must hear about it. More than once.

I don't want to be chauvinistic so lets say a man comes along both of these scenes. He may or may not be disgusted, but will most likely chuckle about it and go on with his day, happier now that someone gave him something to chuckle about.

So what does this have to do with having a fifth boy? Let's just say that the overall stress level in the household will be lower than if we'd have a girl. Especially when Maria would come to the realization that I had turned her little girl into a Tom-boy, you know riding motorcycles, fishing and yes, catching frogs. And from experience, if you want to see stress you should have been around when my daughter became a full-blown teenager.

Sorry Maria, but it's better this way.

Unemployment bliss

SHE SAID:

Well, today was my first official day unemployed this year. I'm really trying not to freak out. And it's only day one, so the freaking out was extremely minimal. I only hit my "panic mode" twice. Ok, three times. But that was it. I was prepared for my job ending, I knew what was going on. And, really, three weeks to go before baby comes, I am a teeny tiny bit relieved to have the little bit of rest before junior comes along. Well, as much rest as a mom can hope for, anyway, right?

The freaking out part is just my nature. I don't know if it's a personality trait or a womanly trait or what, but I do freak out. I freak out a lot. Most of the time I can contain the freaking out in my own head and calm myself down and no one is the wiser ... but, sometimes it comes out and lands on everyone around me like vomit that falls like rain from the heavens above. I seem to find myself freaking out a lot this past year, too. All the changes in my life that just seem to be beyond my control. I feel like someone took my life and hit the autopilot button and forgot to tell me about it. And Tony just sits back and tells me not to worry about it. If he were Italian, he's be saying "fuggedabouddit" and sit back and take another puff of his cigar and blow smoke rings out of his mouth. I swear he would. And, fortunately, he is right about 90 to 95% of the time. It kills me that he is so darn relaxed about things while I'm in a tizzy. I worry, freak, and panic over what turns out to be nothing.

So, this whole unemployed thing: I'm going to try my hardest and take it easy for once in my life and not worry about things. I'm going to concentrate on finishing out this pregnancy and having some fun with the boys and I won't freak out that I don't have a job just yet. I have to allow myself to get out of my single mom way of thinking and realize that things might just be ok for once, even if I am not the captain of the ship.

I tell you what. It would be so much easier not to think about my unemployed status if I had a big bowl of mint chocolate chip ... hint hint, Pookie ...


HE SAID:

You know... about that cigar. I did this little experiment with a Real Cuban Cohiba, and one made in the Dominican Republic... And let me tell you, that Cuban was truly a step above its counterpart. But you don't really give a damn about that, do you. I think everyone should really learn how to relax with a good cigar. It's good for the heart. Honest.

I'm really not going to get my panties in a bunch every time someone pisses on my shoe. What good will it do? I still have piss all over my shoe and what, do I need my blood pressure up too? And you know what happens eventually? Hmm? That's right. The piss dries and if you didn't vomit all over everyone eventually it'll be forgotten about. Now if someone craps on your shoe...

Unemployment. There's two ways of looking at it.

1) You've lost your job and OMG what are you going to do.

or

2) You now have plenty of time to pursue what you really want to do with your life.

Seriously folks, you can hear about this every other day on Dr. Phil. Do I really need to go over this here?
No I've never been "job scared" in fact I have rarely worked for anyone for more than 2 years in one stint. Most of my life I've been self employed. I know this isn't for everyone. But if you're willing and able, even in this economy there's plenty of jobs to be had. Truthfully the worse the economy gets the more work I have. Go figure.

And baby if you hid your icecream a little better I wouldn't find it...

Welcome to our first blog

SHE SAID

I have ideas. Lots and lots of ideas. Most of the time they just hit me, although sometimes I see something that inspires my ideas. Nonetheless, I am the true definition of a Pisces... a dreamer and idealist.

That being said, this "she said, he said" blog idea was mine. I will take full credit and curtsy to the crowd for it. See, writing is my "therapy" if you will. I love to write. And, my idea is that both Tony and I can adjust to our new life together and handle the bumps with a little understanding of each other's point of view. So, besides just entertaining our friends and family with our antics and adventures, we are going to entertain each other.

So, this first blog is just to introduce ourselves and our situation to everyone, pretty much. So, about me: I am divorced (3-1/2 years now) and up until May 2008, I was living small town life in Southeast Missouri with my 2 sons. We had a nice, quiet life.. 2 bedroom apartment, I had a really good job. We came to Florida for vacation in August of 2007 and decided to move here! I know it sounds crazy and weird ... well, it is crazy. We just wanted a change. We fell in love with the beach. I don't know what else to say about that. The boys and I discussed it for quite some time and we just packed it up and moved here. I didn't know a soul here, we have absolutely no ties to here. We just liked it. I found a job about a week after moving here.... and that's about it. My boys, Joseph and Anthony are going to turn 8 and 10 years old this week, they are doing great in school here... and we are adjusting to life in Florida.

Tony and I met in May of 2008. I was pretty much smitten from the start with him. There was just something about him that I can't quite put my finger on... So, we got together and 3 months later we find out we are expecting a child together! Between us two there is a 17 year old girl, an 11-year old boy, two 10-year old boys, an 8-year old boy, a 6 month old girl PUPPY, and a little boy on the way, due in about 3 and a half weeks.

So, you can see how different life is for us now than a year ago! There is really much more to say, but I'm just giving the short version tonight just to get everyone acquainted with our situation and I hope everyone enjoys our blogs!

Good Night!


HE SAID

So I can see she takes the "full credit" for this blog idea... And that is just fine. But to keep the records straight she never would have undertaken this blog without my input. You see I happen to be the type of person that will take an idea and run with it (provided I think it's a good idea). So when she said we should do a "He Said She Said" blog, I said let's go.

Alright, now for a slight introduction. I'm going on 3 years of divorced life, which by the way is when I moved back to Florida. I've lived here off and on for the past 16 years and no, not because I love it here. Let's just say my car blew a head gasket 16 years ago while I was on vacation. Anyhow 3 years ago I moved into a small 2 bedroom cottage, just enough space for my two boys and myself. Shortly thereafter my daughter came to live with me. It got a little crowded but we were happy.

As far as Maria is concerned... What can I say? She showed up; It was what it was; And I wouldn't change it for the world. We obviously needed a bigger house, and now it seems crowded. Anyone have an old motel for sale?

Till next time...